Archive for August, 2013|Monthly archive page
Basically every single IM conversation while I’m oncall: Co-worker: Hey, are you oncall today? Me: That depends. What broke? Co-worker: Huh? No, nothing broke. Me: Then I’m your guy!
from Paul Hamilton — August 29, 2013 at 08:41AM
Dixie: [after meowing incessantly all night] Meow. Me: Don’t even start with me, cat. Callie: It’s okay, cat. You can start with me.
from Paul Hamilton — August 24, 2013 at 10:46AM
Cliché
This is the cliché: a man comes home to find his wife in bed with his best friend.
This is the reality: I come home to find my best friend in my living room, pretending to drink coffee from a clean, dry mug. My wife’s voice is chirpy and insincere.
This is the cliché: a man drags his friend out of the bed, screaming, threatening, hitting.
This is the reality: I make awkward small talk and ask if there is any more coffee left.
This is the cliché: the wife screams and begs mercy for her lover, forgiveness for herself.
This is the reality: My wife says with a quaking voice, “Oh I think we just ran out. Should I make another pot?”
This is the cliché: the man throws his friend onto the lawn and intimidates his wife into penance and a renewed fidelity.
This is the reality: I say, “Nah, thanks.” I think about my dog and try to pretend I don’t smell sex in the air. I slap my palms on my knees and stand up. “Well, I didn’t want to interrupt,” I say, “I guess I’ll just go watch the game at the bar. Good night.”
http://ironsoap.com/2013/08/cliche/
#flash fiction, 200cc, ironsoap, writing, story, short story
Callie: Do you know what a shortcut is? Nikki: I do. Callie: No, a shortcut. Do you know it? Nik: Yes. Callie: No you don’t! It’s a road! And they CUT it! But it’s not too bad.
from Paul Hamilton — August 18, 2013 at 05:33PM
Aspiring Voices: Anma Natsu | ironSoap.com
Aspiring Voices: Anma Natsu | ironSoap.com:
An interview I conducted with fellow aspiring writer Anma Natsu. Also check out her podcast on Spreaker.
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Callie: What do you want? Me: World peace. Callie: We don’t have that. We only have it on very special days.
from Paul Hamilton — August 10, 2013 at 12:58PM
nerdgasming: i-feel-spectaculacular: sempiternalsnakes: lizthe…
These are the heroes of our generation.
tbh these are stupid reasons like omfg if the people in my school did this the teachers were probably laugh their ass off and join us
Some girl I know got detention for “repeatedly describing in great detail the death of a hamster”
But no can we talk about how the kid got detention for proving a teacher wrong? How fucked up is that?
Alex for president.
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