Posted May 18, 2012
Filed under: Twitter | Comments Off on Motion to create a synonym for “booger” with the term “nasal vector.” All in favor, say aye.
Posted May 18, 2012
Filed under: Twitter | Comments Off on My two year-old just told me, “whatever,” with the full eyelid flutter and sardonic intonation and everything. And then I hung myself.
Posted May 17, 2012
Filed under: Twitter | Comments Off on I’ve finally discovered my mortal office enemy, the one who keeps turning on all the lights and making it so I can’t sleep. Soon: revenge.
Posted May 17, 2012
Filed under: Twitter | Comments Off on How I Accidentally Walked Thirteen Miles Pushing A Stroller via ironSoap http://t.co/c1W6KoNx
Posted May 16, 2012
Filed under: Twitter | Comments Off on RT @danieleastman: I saw on Facebook that you are using Spotify to listen to Elliott Smith. Are you okay?
Posted May 16, 2012
Filed under: Twitter | Comments Off on Well, that’s the first draft. Don’t like how it ended, though. I think it says things I don’t mean to say. Still, 99,000 words is something.
Posted May 10, 2012
Filed under: Twitter | Comments Off on I’m on a clear liquid diet today for my colonoscopy tomorrow. My doctor keeps insisting that beer isn’t a clear liquid, not even Bud Lite.