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Fell asleep trying to lift the coffee cup from my desk to take a drink. The burning sensation on my crotch succeeded in waking me up.

@ironsoap November 07, 2011 at 01:46PM

All these paper cups smell like wet dog. Is this some kind of environmental initiative or something?

@ironsoap November 07, 2011 at 12:49PM

“@StumpWoodley: This Conrad Murray verdict is going to be a Thriller.” Well, that joke got made.

@ironsoap November 07, 2011 at 12:05PM

Sudden outburst of laughter from @sillielyd nearly stopped my heart. This tells you how eerily silent our wing of the building usually is.

@ironsoap November 07, 2011 at 11:53AM

Procrastinated on cleaning the kitchen for the second straight day in order to finish Portal 2. Feeling like I made the right decision.

@ironsoap November 05, 2011 at 06:39PM

Whenever I see an antique store I like to imagine the future where a weathered iPad or an Xbox is artfully arranged on a vintage Ikea shelf.

@ironsoap November 05, 2011 at 10:06AM

Baseball juggling — Real or not real? http://t.co/YOkIIrXu I want to believe.

@ironsoap November 04, 2011 at 07:02PM

Ever catch yourself reading a page of celebrity gossip and then just run out into traffic to stop the shame?

@ironsoap November 04, 2011 at 01:12PM

RT @SarahEnni: The best pro-YA thing I’ve ever seen at a bookstore: http://t.co/aVzyVedx #HoorayYA!

@ironsoap November 04, 2011 at 11:28AM

I thought Twitter needed a “downvote” option, like @reddit. Now thinking I just need a feature to tag tweets with this: http://t.co/GOGDLt3r

@ironsoap November 04, 2011 at 10:00AM