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The house-cleaning gnomes that were supposed to come by last night never showed. I want a refund on the deposit, but the tiny paperwork…

@ironsoap November 20, 2011 at 08:12AM

These seats suck. NOT THAT I CARE. Somehow I feel I must emphasize this, in deference to my man credentials.

@ironsoap November 19, 2011 at 08:59PM

Also, she left me alone in the line for Twilight to hit up the concession stand, so I’m pretty sure we’re even.

@ironsoap November 19, 2011 at 08:44PM

Somehow I managed to spoil the movie for @DixieGirl. I feel bad that she’s upset, but she’s really funny when she’s annoyed.

@ironsoap November 19, 2011 at 08:43PM

My inability to do math has compromised date night.

@ironsoap November 19, 2011 at 08:01PM

At the hockey rink, to play rather than watch. Not sure if that makes me awesome or stupid. Right now leaning toward awesomely stupid.

@ironsoap November 19, 2011 at 01:24PM

*one long, unbroken string of expletives*

@ironsoap November 18, 2011 at 03:04PM

RT @capricecrane: If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at t …

@ironsoap November 18, 2011 at 10:02AM

I can’t believe I forgot to bring a backup book.

@ironsoap November 17, 2011 at 04:49PM

This red-eyed squirrel is following me and being all shifty. So when my body is discovered decomposing in a tree, you know who to question.

@ironsoap November 17, 2011 at 04:12PM