{"id":439,"date":"2012-01-09T22:38:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-09T22:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/?p=439"},"modified":"2012-01-09T22:38:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-09T22:38:00","slug":"the-facebook-birthday-bonanza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/?p=439","title":{"rendered":"The Facebook Birthday Bonanza"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It has become a tradition. Every year, Facebook reminds people who log in on January 6th that it is my birthday. It\u2019s so easy to click the name and write a pithy wish for happy day. No longer do people need calendars or reminders or memory, Facebook handles the effort for them.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps people are going to assume by this that I\u2019m demeaning the effort of Facebook birthday-wishers, but I assure you that isn\u2019t the case. I\u2019m surprised that people don\u2019t completely <em>ignore<\/em>\u00a0my birthday, for the most part. Even taking a low-resistance path and flooding my Facebook wall with well-wishes is more than I\u2019m probably deserving of.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t hate the birthday bonanza, I just think it\u2019s strange and kind of funny. So this year I thought I\u2019d take the posts I received and do a bit of statistical analysis on them, just for kicks. The fruits of my labor follow:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>First Post:<\/strong> 01\/05\/2012\u00a015:44<\/li>\n<li><strong>Total Posts:<\/strong> 40<\/li>\n<li><strong>Exclamation Points:<\/strong> 80<\/li>\n<li><strong>Average Exclamation Points Per Post:<\/strong> 2<\/li>\n<li><strong>Most Exclamation Points in a Single Post:<\/strong> 22<\/li>\n<li><strong>References to Relationship With the Poster (<\/strong><em>cuz, nephew, etc<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 5<\/li>\n<li><strong>Number of Personalizations (<\/strong><em>mentioned me by name<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 16<\/li>\n<li><strong>Number of Other Addresses (<\/strong><em>mr, sir, dawg, etc<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 5<\/li>\n<li><strong>Number of Friends Referring to Me as \u201cDawg\u201d:<\/strong> 1<\/li>\n<li><strong>Call-Outs of My Age:<\/strong> 2<\/li>\n<li><strong>Wishes Regarding the Quality of the Date (<\/strong><em>other than \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d, such as \u201chave a great day\u201d<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 16<\/li>\n<li><strong>Uses of the Exact Phrase, \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d:<\/strong> 35<\/li>\n<li><strong>Shortest Post, In Number of Characters:<\/strong> 9<\/li>\n<li><strong>Longest Post, In Number of Characters:<\/strong> 138<\/li>\n<li><strong>Median Post Length:<\/strong> 65<\/li>\n<li><strong>Average Post Length:<\/strong> 40<\/li>\n<li><strong>Total Characters:<\/strong> 1,612<\/li>\n<li><strong>Amount of Posts That Solely Consisted of Variants of \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d:<\/strong> 8<\/li>\n<li><strong>References to My Family, Wife or Daughter (<\/strong><em>Not Counting Posts From Wife and\/or Daughter<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 4<\/li>\n<li><strong>Terms of Endearment:<\/strong> 3<\/li>\n<li><strong>Affirmations of Affection (<\/strong><em>\u201cI love you,\u201d \u201clove ya,\u201d \u201cxoxox\u201d, etc<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 7<\/li>\n<li><strong>Abbreviations:<\/strong> 6<\/li>\n<li><strong>Likes on Birthday Related Posts:<\/strong> 2<\/li>\n<li><strong>Typos:<\/strong> 3<\/li>\n<li><strong>Number of People Featured in Profile Pics Across All Birthday Posts (<\/strong><em>as of this writing<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 55<\/li>\n<li><strong>Number of Weird, Hybrid Monster Cartoons in Profile Pics Across All Birthday Posts (<\/strong><em>as of this writing<\/em><strong>):<\/strong> 1<\/li>\n<li><strong>Blood-related Family Members Posting:<\/strong> 12<\/li>\n<li><strong>Marriage-based Family Members Posting:<\/strong> 5<\/li>\n<li><strong>Non-family Members Posting:<\/strong> 23<\/li>\n<li><strong>Emoticons and Other Adornments:<\/strong> 5<\/li>\n<li><strong>Amount of Posts Containing the Word or Variants of \u201cBirthday\u201d:<\/strong> 40<\/li>\n<li><strong>Final Post:<\/strong> 01\/06\/2012\u00a021:57<\/li>\n<li><strong>Duration of Birthday Bonanza, In Minutes:<\/strong> 1,813<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>#<\/p>\n<p>from <a href=\"http:\/\/ironsoap.tumblr.com\/\">Like a Detuned Radio<\/a> \u2014 <a href=\"http:\/\/ironsoap.tumblr.com\/post\/15584404367\">January 09, 2012 at 02:21PM<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It has become a tradition. Every year, Facebook reminds people who log in on January 6th that it is my birthday. It\u2019s so easy to click the name and write a pithy wish for happy day. No longer do people need calendars or reminders or memory, Facebook handles the effort for them. Perhaps people are [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-439","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=439"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":440,"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439\/revisions\/440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/complete.ironsoap.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}